Do your kids grab your phone all the time? Mine do. It is a source of endless fascination for them. I’m not sure if they’re entranced by the idea that I actually have friends who want to talk to me or if it’s the shiny red cover or if it’s just the nature of children to be interested by anything their parents own.
For the last few weeks, the phone has been displaying a “memory full” message. I just ignored it because I have found that is the best course of action to take with technology. If I don’t understand it, I don’t worry about it because eventually some techno-geek will pick up my phone and fix it for me without being asked. That’s why it pays to befriend a few techno-geeks!
Anyway, today the phone started this intermittent ringing noise; apparently, it was not happy with me for ignoring its message so it decided to step up its campaign. Every five minutes, a shrill ring would issue forth, letting me know it was in the car with me and its memory was full. I guess it was the techno equivalent of a child screaming “I Gotta Go Now!!!” Finally I picked it up and attempted to solve “The Mystery Of The Memory Full Message”.
The logical place to start was with the camera application. Photos take up memory; even I know that. I clicked over to the photo album and stared in shock. Mystery solved. I had over 80 photos and they were consuming 97% of my available memory.
But I never take photos with my camera; I only learned how to use the camera two months ago. The only reason the phone has one is because you can’t buy just a plain phone anymore. I have voluntarily taken about three pictures with it, so someone else has been snapping photos. Here is a sampling of some of the photos I proceeded to delete:
Three random pictures of people I don’t know at all; about twenty pictures of blackness; several pictures of the goddess’s left eye; three pictures of her bottom lip; five extreme close-up shots of John’s nostrils (thankfully empty!); and several side shots of Amy tossing her hair coquettishly.
I took none of these photos. Ok, I might have taken the blackness photos. The camera button is on the side of my stupid phone so I could conceivably be pressing it accidentally and taking pictures of the inside of the phone. But there is no explanation for the pictures of complete strangers.
And no logical explanation for my son’s fascination with his own nostrils other than he is a boy and boys are weird that way. I am considering printing a series of them and having them framed. I mean, if someone can cash in on a dead shark by calling it art, I ought to be able to make some money off of a montage of my kid’s nostrils! Let’s call it “Portrait of the depravity of youth with too much access to technology”. Or something like that! I will do a similar series with the goddess’s eye shots.
I managed to delete about thirty of the pictures before I got sick of the process. I got rid of most of the black shots, all of the nostril and eye shots and the extremely blurry ones. I saved the strangers so I can interrogate my children as to the possible identity of them. One sure did look a LOT like Elvis!!