I consider myself to be a tolerant person. I live my life trying to respect others and the choices they make. I understand we are all different and require different things to achieve happiness. But some things are natural and to tamper with them goes against the very grain of humanity. You know what I am talking about. Birds mate with birds, bees with bees. Some things are ordained by God.
So just who in the HELL thought it was a good idea to deep fry macaroni and cheese???? I pulled up to the Sonic Drive Thru and when I pushed the button, the disembodied voice intoned: WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUR DEEP FRIED MACARONI AND CHEESE BITES? No thanks, but I’d like to vomit all over your machine!
On the 8th day God created the Kraft company and He saw that it was good. He caused the Kraft company to issue forth many products to please the man and the woman He had created. He caused there to be Kraft American Singles (a pasteurized, processed cheese food) and He saw that they were good. Then God caused there to be Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and the man and the woman rejoiced in the glory of powdered cheese sauce.
From the beginning, Kraft mac and cheese has been a pure food. So, possibly, the bright orange powdered cheese is not completely natural. Maybe there are a few unneccessary additives. Fine, but it still tastes good. Nothing sums up the essence of childhood like Kraft mac and cheese.
What I want to know is which genius on the Sonic management team decided to deep fry it? Here is the advertising pitch from their website:
|Mac & Cheese Snacks|
|Today I’d like to introduce the term “unrestricted eating.” It refers to eating whatever you want, whenever you want it. Like macaroni & cheese, for example. Typically, you’d need a bowl, spoon and both hands to enjoy this quintessentially American dish. Lucky for you, SONIC® invented Mac & Cheese Snacks—a cheesy favorite packed into crunchy bite-size morsels. It’s portable and pop-able. Which means you can now have Mac & Cheese anytime, anywhere. So like I said, it’s “unrestricted eating.” Got it?|
Yes, thank you very much, I GOT IT!! You need a bowl and a spoon to eat mac and cheese because that is how God INTENDED us to eat it!! Nowhere on the Kraft box are we given the instructions for deep frying it. Microwaving, yes, but no deep frying at all. Because that is abomination of the highest order!! And by the way Sonic geniuses, unrestricted eating is exactly why America has the highest obesity rate in the developed world. Unrestricted eating equals oink oink!!
I have to admit I am a wee bit curious as to how a mac and cheese bite is created. How do they clump it all together? Super glue? Rat droppings? I would love to know the secret. It looks battered, so I guess after they clump it together with their top secret (patent pending) clumping technique, they glop it into batter and it’s ready to be shaped into a round patty and deep fried. I don’t know about you, but the idea of eating a deep fried macaroni and cheese patty is morally repugnant. It goes against everything our founding fathers stood for when they helped create this great country. It goes against God.
I dare one of you to go to Sonic and order some macaroni and cheese bites and eat them. They must be tasty, right? Don’t you want to try them? Call me and I’ll go with you. It’s my treat.