You might think once a stranger has been decapitated his usefulness is done. After all, what joy can be found in a stranger with no head? The Goddess and Dubya, however, continued to amuse themselves with him this morning.
As we walked to the bus stop, the stranger’s head lay in the front yard and his natty tuxedo was several feet away. The goddess deposited her book bag at the bus stop, swallowed the rest of her nutritious powdered sugar donut, and ran for his remains.
Here are some suggestions for decapitated stranger games:
1. Pick up his head and menace the other kids at the bus stop with his creepiness.
2. Pick up his tuxedo and practice your dance moves with him. The goddess worked on the tango and the waltz, in the middle of the street of course. I considered getting her IQ tested after I watched her tango up and down the street with an empty black tuxedo. Or maybe some intensive therapy. For me.
3. Play kick the head. One of the older boys found great pleasure in drop kicking the head to see how far it would go. I think this one just might sweep across the playgrounds of America!
4. Twirl the head around like a helicopter. The string at the top of his head is excellent for that purpose. JH wielded the head fearlessly, twirling it in the air like a gothic numchuk. The other kids backed away and stared in awe. Eat your heart out Jackie Chan!
5. Lead a macabre death parade. The goddess brought me the two pieces of the stranger and I discovered he was easily mended by fastening the velcro around his neck. Her delight was such you would have thought I had given her a year’s supply of candy. She hugged him and then marched off, the other kids falling into line behind her. It was one of those really proud moments, me watching the goddess assert herself as the Queen of the macabre death parade….
It all ended abruptly when JH darted out of line and snatched the stranger away from the goddess. She keened and wailed and ran to me in despair. The stranger had suddenly become her best friend, her raison d’etre, the light of her world and his loss was affecting her greatly. She threw her arms around me and I tried to peel her off, muttering at her to shut up, it was just a stupid vampire. I never once saw Carol Brady comfort Cindy over the loss of her best vampire friend.
JH came over and returned the stranger to the goddess and her tears magically dried. She clasped the gruesome thing to her bosom and hugged him. And I knew then it was time to seek intensive electroshock therapy for both of us. Immediately. If she tells me she wants to sleep with it tonight, I am outta here!