I am a Cocoa Puffs kind of girl. I have a genuine passion for artificially sweetened, red dye enhanced, kid friendly cereals. The people at General Mills love me because health is not an issue for me. The more sugar and dye in the cereal, the more likely I am to buy it.
I know I have blogged on this topic before, but adult cereals confuse me. Who wants to eat one of those fiber cereals that look like bundles of twigs? Screw fiber, I’ll take my chances with colon cancer, just pass me the damn Fruity Pebbles! Gina brought me some Kashi crunch one day that she got free at the CVS and I poured myself a bowl. It tasted an awful lot like hay and grit soaked in milk.
I was at the Publix last week and they had all their General Mills cereals BOGO (buy one get one in Publix speak!!!) I was delighted and I grabbed a box of Cocoa Puffs, one of my all time favorite comfort foods. I also got a box of Lucky Charms, for those technicolor marshmallows of course; does anyone really eat the nasty oat cereal? I got some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and then, as an afterthought, I grabbed a box of Cheerios. Every once in awhile, I like a good healthy bowl of Cheerios, doused with 1/2 cup of sugar, of course!!
Let me back up a moment to share a story with you. The goddess was invited to spend the night at the home of Teensy and her curly headed moppet. In honor of the moppet’s first overnight guest, she was allowed to pick out a sugary cereal with which to impress her guest. The sleepover was a smashing success and a good time was had by all. The next morning, the moppet proudly produced the Froot Loops, purchased exclusively for the delight of the visiting royalty. The goddess looked at them politely, then espied the Rice Krispies and her eyes lit up like Christmas trees: “oooooh, can I have that instead?” So the moppet gorged herself on the sugary cereal and the goddess gorged herself on the healthy cereal. Weird.
Fast forward to this weekend, and the moppet came to spend the night with the goddess. I knew the moppet would be most impressed with the contents of my pantry. The selection of sugar was enough to make Willy Wonka swoon. Sunday morning, I opened the door with a flourish and sure enough, the moppet was beside herself with delight. As I was naming the cereals, the goddess was yawning. But then the bright yellow box caught her eye and she squealed in delight: “We have Cheerios??!!!”
What kind of sick mother am I? Here I am, buying sugar coated cancer clusters and my kid wants freakin’ Cheerios? Obviously, I need to go back and read Dr. Spock again, because I am doing something wrong. Well, the moppet and the goddess sat at the table companionably, the moppet eating her cocoa puffs with gusto, the goddess consuming her Cheerios with delight. It was a Norman Rockwell moment.
That night, we came home from girl scouts and the goddess consumed two more bowls of Cheerios. It hurt my heart. I guess I need to learn from my child and try to make more wholesome cereal choices. Then again, maybe she needs to learn from me and eat more red dye number 78!!