Broke Back Boobies

I was watching Brokeback Mountain on Saturday.  I love that movie because it’s such a beautiful love story.  However, there are some extremely graphic and disturbing scenes with which I am not comfortable.  I am not talking about the gay sex which is a tiny blip on my mental radar.  Hey to each his own.  Who am I to worry about how people have sex and with whom?  I don’t like to imagine men and women having sex, or two men or even two labrador retrievers for that matter.

No, what bothered me was the sex scene with Anne Hathaway.  Anne Hathaway was in The Princess Diaries.  Anne Hathaway was in Ella Enchanted.  Anne Hathaway is pure and good.  So what is she doing rolling around in the back seat of a car, groping Jake Gyllenhall??  Not that he isn’t grope-worthy; that’s not the point.  The point is that Princess Mia cannot be doing the deed in the backseat of a Chevy with a gay cowboy.

But the most disturbing moment came when she unbuttoned her blouse and her bosoms sprang free.  Ewwwwwwwwww!!!  Gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ella Enchanted doesn’t have bosoms!!!!!!!!  That is soooooooooo disgusting!  I imagine this is how audiences felt when Julie Andrews, fed up with her Mary Poppins image, decided to bare her breasts in the Blake Edwards movie SOB.    Good girl screen icons are not supposed to have boobies and if they do, their audience is never supposed to see them.

So that is the number one reason to avoid watching Brokeback Mountain.  Gay cowboys are the least of your worries.  No, the real issue is the visual of Anne Hathaway’s nipples springing free into Jake G.’s face.  That’s enough to send me screaming to therapy!!  Keep your shirt on Anne and get back to ruling Genovia!!

Advertisements

13 Comments

  1. Posted July 18, 2007 at 7:05 am | Permalink

    Did you see her in Havoc? Makes Genovia just a distant memory.

    And I don’t get the whole Heath Ledger thing. Not my cup of tea. Now Jake and I could definitely work something out…..

  2. dailydiatribes
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 7:23 am | Permalink

    No, I did not see Havoc, nor will I. That may be just the thing to send me screaming into the sunset!!!!!
    I LOVE Heath, altho Jake is pretty darn hot too!!

  3. Kiki
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 7:27 am | Permalink

    Anne Hathaway is young and probably has perky, cute boobies–I wouldn’t know, having never seen either of the aforementioned movies, thank God. She doesn’t know yet that boobies are good for one thing–feeding babies. Once you’ve done that, the boobies no longer beong to you and become useless for anything else. Her day will come.
    I love Heath and Jake. Both are very good looking. Not as cute as Sting and Jude and Hugh (Jackman, not Grant), but I could live with either.

  4. Posted July 18, 2007 at 9:45 am | Permalink

    “She doesn’t know yet that boobies are good for one thing–feeding babies. Once you’ve done that, the boobies no longer belong to you and become useless for anything else.”

    Maybe it’s just because I’m a horny old reprobate with a lifelong boobies fetish that I can’t believe I just read that. I guess it’s true that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, but maybe even some Venutians (<is that a word?) would disagree with that statement. Sheeeessshhhhhhh! :-))

  5. Gina
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 12:14 pm | Permalink

    Ok, maybe because I only breastfed one, but I did it for 13 months, but I like my boobies. I put them into the teeniest, tightest dresses I can get away with in whatever situation I can get away with doing it at. (Good damn thing I’m not an English teacher. ‘Cus I know that last sentence would have gotten my card revoked!) I am still a WOMAN, first and foremost.

    Now, I agree with Jennifer on the Julie Andrews/Anne Hathaway ewww factor. Almost like a mother or father must feel finding out their little girl has posed for something they would rather she not have. Ahhh, well. Boobies have always been, at least in the good old U S of A, a topic for heated debate.

    Good one, Jen.

  6. Kiki
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 1:13 pm | Permalink

    Well, Gina, some of us have more boobies left than others, or haven’t you noticed? Not that I had much to start with. I breast fed 3 each from anywhere to 8 months (#1) to, oh, 14 months (#3 the boy) and by the time I was done, boobies are definitely not as “touchable” as they once were. A certain amount of ennui sets in when they are touched as often and for such a utilitarian purpose as mine have been. Not to say that they are not still appreciated by someone in this household…and I am sure Don (reprobate that he is) is right, as Gina has piped up!

    If I looked like you, Gina, I’d be showcasing them too! I have never been buxom. Now everyone will want to see a photo of you! However, I’m hoping my rear end/legs will suffice for showcasing in the future. I’m working on it! However, no photos will be posted…

  7. Nancy S
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 5:30 pm | Permalink

    I know what you mean about Princess Mia. I haven’t seen the movie (I don’t get out much), but your description is enough for me to know that if they ever made another Princess Diaries movie, I wouldn’t be able to watch it. I did not see Julie Andrews in SOB, but she was great in Victor/Victoria, as was The Music Man, Robert Preston. My favorite part of Victor/Victoria was when Alex Karras came out of the closet! Of course, in that movie, the Cinderella I grew up with, Lesley Anne Warren, starred as the blonde bimbo girlfriend of James Garner. The last movie I saw Heath Ledger in was A Knight’s Tale, and I thought he was hot, but ever since he had a baby with that girl and they’re still not married, I don’t have a lot of use for him.

  8. Gina
    Posted July 18, 2007 at 7:35 pm | Permalink

    Hehe. Now, if my legs and butt looked like yours, Kiki, I wouldn’t be wearing much of anything. 😉

  9. Kiki
    Posted July 19, 2007 at 8:37 am | Permalink

    You are very sweet Gina. No, I am not ready for a bikini yet. Probably never will be. That was when I was 5 or so. That was when I was really cute. It is all down hill from here for me.

  10. Posted July 20, 2007 at 4:01 pm | Permalink

    I’m going to dissent here. I had no problem seeing either Anne Hathaway’s or Michelle Willams’ breasts in Brokeback Mountain. Here’s why: neither of them looked like they’d been “enhanced” with implants. They looked like regular women, which is pretty darn unusual on the big screen.

  11. dailydiatribes
    Posted July 20, 2007 at 4:19 pm | Permalink

    No but you miss the point….THEY WERE ANNE HATHAWAY’S BOOBIES!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!

  12. Kiki
    Posted July 20, 2007 at 7:36 pm | Permalink

    I think Kathy’s point here was at least they were real! Good point, Kathy!

  13. Posted July 24, 2007 at 12:04 pm | Permalink

    Thanks!


Post a Comment

Required fields are marked *
*
*

%d bloggers like this: