Squirrels Gone Wild….

Well, several of my alert readers (I only have five readers, but they are very alert!!!) sent me this piece on German squirrels gone wild.  Seems that a squirrel, overcome with lust, attacked several people and was finally subdued by a gentleman wielding a crutch.  Here is the text, as lifted from Yahoo, since I cannot do that hyperlink thingy:

BERLIN (Reuters) – An aggressive squirrel attacked and injured three people in a German town before a 72-year-old pensioner dispatched the rampaging animal with his crutch.

The squirrel first ran into a house in the southern town of Passau, leapt from behind on a 70-year-old woman, and sank its teeth into her hand, a local police spokesman said on Thursday.

With the squirrel still hanging from her hand, the woman ran onto the street in panic, where she managed to shake it off.

The animal then entered a building site and jumped on a construction worker, injuring him on the hand and arm, before he managed to fight it off with a measuring pole.

“After that, the squirrel went into the 72-year-old man’s garden and massively attacked him on the arms, hand and thigh,” the spokesman said. “Then he killed it with his crutch.”

The spokesman said experts thought the attack may have been linked to the mating season or because the squirrel was ill.

I believe I have made my point.  Squirrels are not to be trusted.  Their intent is to bring harm to mankind because they view us a threat to their acorn supply.  I know you all think Squirrel Nutkin is some cute, innocent, happy little mammal, frolicking about the garden with Peter Rabbit and singing tunes, but I know the truth.

I know that Squirrel Nutkin is really a homicidal rodent programmed to destroy mankind.  His beady eyes cannot conceal his rage toward humanity.  His desire and intent is to bite men and women into submission with his nasty buck teeth and force them to gather acorns while he and his rodent friends lounge about.

It sickens me, it really does.  I am grateful for the man in Germany who so alertly subdued Squirrel Nutkin before he could carry on with his nefarious plan.  Let it serve as a reminder to us all that constant vigilance is a must.  The squirrels must be controlled and every one of us is needed to fight the good fight and keep the squirrels in the trees, where they belong!!



  1. Renee
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 9:46 pm | Permalink

    “keep the squirrels in the trees, where they belong!!” Or flattened on the road?

  2. Mojo
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 10:09 pm | Permalink

    I didn’t grow up in Bham, but I often visited grandparents and all my extended family here. One of my favorite places to come was a beloved aunt and uncle’s home in Homewood. When I feel very nostalgic, I drive past the house. It has one of those historic markers on it now, and someone has done a magnificent renovation on it, fit for a Southern Living feature layout.

    When I was little, my uncle laughed about the “Familiars” inhabiting the house. (And sure enough, we could hear sounds at night.) Believe it or not, it didn’t spook me, which is amazing to me! Anyway, I later learned the “Familiars” were squirrels they could never get rid of, scampering around inside the walls! Can you imagine?!

  3. dailydiatribes
    Posted June 23, 2007 at 10:23 pm | Permalink

    I don’t know Margie, it’s better than chickens in the cellar!!!

  4. Squirrel Nutkin
    Posted June 24, 2007 at 3:16 am | Permalink

    I knew him. He was my friend. His mommy sent him down here to this hot dark place. I tried to stop him, but he was so sad. And that big red man with the pitchfork said, “Go haunt Squirrel Nutkin’s mommy.” But I bonked him on the head and said “Go haunt Germany.” I’m sorry he bit that poor German lady. But I had to protect my mommy.

    I love you Mommy. I miss you Mommy. It’s so dark and hot down here. Can I come home, Mommy?

  5. Posted June 26, 2007 at 1:27 pm | Permalink

    And, the moral of this squirrel “tail” is ……………………. get a crutch. I happen to have a pair of Genuine G.I. crutches, and I only use one. What would you offer for the other one? It doesn’t have to be money, mind you, because you’re such an attractive young lady. :-))

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